Conservative Car Review: 2015 Kia Sedona

The Kia Sedona: Eroding family values since 1998

The Kia Sedona: Eroding family values since 1998

Go on, have more kids. Obama’s New Welfare State will feed them!

by Phil Uvschidt

It’s been a busy time for me here at Driving On The Right headquarters with the official announcement that Hellary is for running the office of Resident-in-Chief. Like an infestation of cockroaches at a grubby Mexican restaraunt, we knew this was inevitable, but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant.

But there is some good news: I’ve talked to every Right-minded Conservative I know (and believe me, I know a lot of them), and every last one, to a man, agrees that they’ll be voting and speaking out against her without bothering to listen to a word she says or even considering what her policies are. As we all know, the only time that woman tells the truth is when she talks about redistributing our hard-earned wealth.

So with that blessed thought in mind, I can get back to the business of reviewing cars… an idea that made me happy until I contemplated this week’s ride, the Kia Sedona.

The Sedona used to be a minivan, except that term is out of favor now. Minivans are equated with “soccer moms”. You know, those uneducated stay-at-home women who believe in silly things like “family values” and “being involved with your children” and “personal responsibility” and “freedom”, all things Obama and his Lefty Liberals plan to make illegal in the New Clintonian World Order. Instead, we’ll be encouraged to work hard and earn lots of money so we can give it to all the illegal immigrants from Mexico so they can share it with their fellow Puerto Ricans.

Oops, did I say Puerto Ricans? I guess my computer’s Political Correctness filter must not be working. That’s what happens when you refuse to give up your password or your rights to Obama.

Where was I? Oh yes, the Sedona, which is not a minivan, because of course we don’t like people with minivans. Like so many other things in Obama’s New Dark Ages, Kia has adopted the Socialist Europe label of “Multipurpose Vehicle”. Which means that at least half of those multi purposes involve working your butt off so people too lazy to peel themselves away from Judge Judy can have “free” health care.

In my Kia K900 review, I talked about the way the Koreans are goose-stepping into line with Obama’s something-for-nothing “world view”. On the advice of my attorney, I won’t go over that again, but suffice it to say that nothing has changed in the land of Kim Dong Ill and the people who bow-wow-wow down to him.

The Kia Sedona is no different, offering features like leather and navigation that people back in my grandpappy’s day actually expected to pay for. The Sedona SX-L I drove had adaptive cruise control, lane departure warning, and collision avoidance with automatic braking. I couldn’t find the switch that disables the steering wheel and lets King Obammunist drive the car, but I’m sure it’s there somewhere. Information about it will be given on a need-to-know basis, and just like Hillary’s emails, ordinary, taxpaying, gun-toting, freedom-loving citizens like you and I don’t need to know. Shut up and get back in line, and let Nancy Pelosi decide what’s best for you.

The Sedona carries this whole something-for-nothing idea even farther by offering seven seats. Need I spell out what the message is here?

“Go ahead, comrades, have more children. Don’t worry about how they’ll be clothed or fed or educated or healed when they are sick. Your fellow citizens will pay for it. Go on, just fornicate like crazy. After all, who needs family values when you have Obama’s welfare state?”

DRIVING ON THE RIGHT VERDICT:

The Kia Sedona is just another Koreak krap-kan kontributing to the kommunization of this once-great kountry. Something that will end on January 20th, 2017, when we kome to our senses and put another Bush back in the White House. Meanwhile, I have just one question for Hillary, Obama, Pelosi, and all those other left-wingnuts: How are we supposed to fill these cheap Korean not-minivans with children after you’ve made traditional heterosexual marriage illegal?

CopyRIGHT © 2015 Driving On The Right. All RIGHTs reserved.

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